Good night

Tonight I tucked in my two sons for the first time. It was a different feeling than I had when I was just tucking in Gabe. I felt like a parent. Let me explain:
I have been a father now for two years, Gabe second birthday was just the other day, and I have felt like a father the entire time. But with Gabe, I was hanging out, I was his buddy who told him not to put toys down the air in-take vent. I will still hang out with him, and I will always be his buddy, but with two sons, it feels different. I am going to do the same thing with Isaiah, hang out, play, tell him not to follow his brothers example of throwing his toys when he's tired. I am going to say that now that I have two children; that distinction of two as a whole makes me feel like a parent versus having a child. I have a greater sense of responsibility. Perhaps that is a gift of the Spirit, knowing that I have the stewardship of another of our Father's finest is the weight I feel. Perhaps it is a combination of several different things.
On the same topic, I was talking with my bro-in-law Jay the other day, and I asked him how he handled the transition of one son to two. He said that he was worried that he wouldn't be able to love the second as much as the first. I had similar fears. And like going on a mission, getting married, or eating an amazing steak that is cooked just right, there is no way to really understand the power of having a second son without going through it. When Gabe was born I was happy, I was and still am a proud daddy! But when Isaiah was born and Jennifer said go get Gabe so he can meet his little brother, emotion hit me right in the eyes! I had just watched Isaiah be born, I was closer to him then the midwife who caught him (in physical location). I had an immediate bond and like the Grinch who stole Christmas, my heart grew, my love bank grew! I don't love Gabe any less, I am not having to "share" my love, I have equal parts, whole parts for both of my sons! This is similar to what Jay told me he went through, but until I experienced it, I wasn't prepared for it. I know that my love for Isaiah will grow as we do hang out, and build experiences together, but my foundation of love was a gift, and I thank my Father in Heaven for that.

And lets not forget my beautiful, and inspirational wife! She is amazing! I love her with all my heart! When she asks for a piece, I do all that I can to give her the whole, because I love her, and because I want to show that I love her, and because she deserves it! Jennifer, I know that I tell you all the time that I love you more, but now it is written in stone, and it is open for the world to see! I love you more! I love you more today than I did the day we got married. I love you more today than yesterday! I love you more than I can say. And watching you now with our two sons; you amaze me! My heart grew to love Isaiah, and with that came more love for you! You are an amazing mother! Thank you for saying yes! I would do it again today!

I feel more blessed than I deserve. And the only explanation that I can come up with is that I know that my dad loves me no matter what, and he has sacrificed for me more than I know. But ever greater, my Father in Heaven sacrificed even more, and loves me perfectly! I don't know that I will ever understand God's love, and why He loves me as much as he does, but I will try to love my sons the same, as close to perfect as I can.