How Freaked Out Are You Really?

I have been surprised by many of the reactions I have received when people find out I opted for natural childbirth. Unfortunately, a lot of those reactions have been negative. So I would like to share my thoughts on why I chose a natural birth and what I think now that I have done it.

When I got pregnant, like most women in this country, I assumed I would have my baby in the hospital with all the drugs and monitoring devices that come along with it. That's just the way it's done, right? But every time I thought about the birth I was glad that it seemed a long way off because, quite frankely, it freaked me out! I was there when my sister Sara had her first baby, and I left the hospital that day a little traumatized by the whole experience. Ok, a lot traumatized. Every moment of the labor and delivery seemed like a life or death event. There was the epidural, the fetal heart monitor with it's tenuous readings, the IV dripping fluids and medication, the episiotomy (holy crap!). Then when the baby came out, she was plopped on a cold examination table, weight, measured and screaming before she was given to my sister to hold.

So, yes, the thought of child birth seem pretty scary to me. One day I came across the blog of an aquaintance from highschool who had just had her third baby by natural childbirth. She talked about how great the experience was compared to her first two births which had been in the hospital. What she wrote intrigued me so I decided to look into it. That night I told RT that I thought we should consider natural childbirth. When I said the words "natural child birth" the blood drained out of his face, and he promptly remided me how I had reacted just a few months earlier when I fractured my knee cap in an unfortunate shopping cart incident in the Costco parking lot (don't ask). He helped me relive the experience as he described how I had collapsed in shock and pewked all over the concrete. I couldn't argue with the point he was making. I have a very low tolerance for pain. That is just a fact of life that I live with. Yet somehow I still felt compelled to look into natural childbirth. RT and I agreed that we would look into it, but not make any decisions until we had really done our research.

I started doing research online, and found lots of great information, including info on the Birth and Family Place, the only free-standing birth center in Salt Lake City. They held an open house that RT and I went to. We got to tour the facility, meet the nurse midwife, Becky, as well as several women who had given birth at the center and were there to answer questions. Becky told us her philosophy on childbirth. She said that baby's belong in the arms of their parents from the moment they are born. That pregnancy is not a medical condition and should not be treated as one. That in a healthy woman with a normal pregnancy the body knows best how to give birth and that intervention (drugs, etc.) should only be used when necessary. That really struck a cord with me. I realized that I had felt like something was wrong with me just because I was pregnant. Suddenly I felt my entire being relax as it occurred to me that there was nothing wrong with me. Pregnancy is a natural, normal condition.

The more RT and I learned, the more comfortable we felt with the idea of natural childbirth and the more uncomfortable we felt with a medicated birth. We enrolled in birthing classes that taught the Bradley Method, and switched from the doctor we had been seeing to the midwife.

The room where Gabe was born

The weeks passed and the big day finally arrived. I'll spare you the details of the birth, but tell you that the experience was truely amazing. There was no trauma, no fear. When Gabriel was born, RT got to catch him and lay him on my chest. And there he stayed for the next hour while we stared at him.

Was it painful? Yes. But not anywhere near as painful as I had anticipated. The fractured knee cap was much worse. In fact, the events that followed that fractured knee cap prepared me for childbirth in a way I would not have expected. While I was crying and shaking in pain with my knee swelling up, RT gave me a blessing. As he spoke the words of that blessing, I felt a wave of peace come over me that made my entire body relaxed, and I found that I was no longer afraid of the pain that I was feeling. I remember thinking to myself that the pain was just as intense as before the blessing, but it didn't hurt as much anymore because I wasn't afraid of it. Because I went into childbirth, educated, prepared and with no fear, it was a peaceful, wonderful experience.

I have heard women say that natural childbirth is an empowering experience. That is so true, but not in the way I expected it to be. I don't feel like I am stronger for having done it, but I have gained an amazing new appreciation for my body, the gift that it is, and the power that it holds. I think the end result speaks for itself.