In my Human Growth and Development class I am supposed to write 8 papers birthing a person, and in the end killing her (I was assigned a girl.) Here is the first paper. Please let me know what you think as Montana grows, it will help her life.
Though this is a story about Montana and her life, we must first go over the history of how she came to be and the history of her family; because unlike you, her family really was “out there”, although to others, they were a boring and normal family. Montana’s mother is Phoenix, and Phoenix’s mother is Crystal, and Crystal’s mother is Helena. Phoenix’s father was a member of one of the world’s most useless yet feared gangs in the history of man. He was an employee of the IRS. After putting a lean on some family’s home, repossessing their cars, and shutting down the 43rd generation candy shop, he was shot, then dipped in a large vat of chocolate and sold to a museum as the largest chocolate figure ever. Phoenix’s grandfather died of old age. Phoenix’s grandma, Helena, was only 87 years young. She was the president of the local book club, and chair woman of Central City’s cattle prod museum. Phoenix’s mother, Crystal, was a professional knitter. She was the best in town. She was known to knit deluxe ties, socks, and one year the home coming queen’s hairdo. The only problem is that no one needed a professional knitter, and now that her husband was gone, Crystal and her family were dirt broke. Some would say extreme poverty, but to them, they were rich in heart. Helena has a cousin that lets them stay in a three bedroom apartment above a paper mill and pay rent when they can. Though this family seems poor and simple, we will soon learn that Helena, Crystal and Phoenix are all very gifted women, even though Phoenix doesn’t know it yet. And Montana, we will wait and see is she also is going to be just as gifted, if not more then the rest. Phoenix was a sophomore at Central City High, just about to turn 16, and was hoping and wishing that she could soon have her driver’s license. Knowing that her mother or grandmother couldn't afford to buy her a car, she started working at the local super market, bagging groceries after school and on Saturdays. It was here at work that Phoenix met Rufus, the dairy boy. Rufus was once a high school football water boy extraordinaire, but because of his failing academic grades he was kicked from the team. With his dreams of college dashed he dropped out of school and planned on being the city’s mayor. Rufus had long thin red hair pulled into a pony tail, and he had started chewing tobacco. And for whatever reason Phoenix couldn't take her eyes off of him. They started spending breaks and lunches together. And though there was a three year difference between them they soon became inseparable. Because of raging hormones, you can guess what soon happened between the two. They started the hanky panky, and Phoenix got knocked up. Though it would about a month before they knew she was expecting, they started drifting away from each other. One thing that Phoenix didn't know about Rufus was that he was dedicated to his job. It was his honor. And one day when she spilled some milk in the dairy cooler, and Rufus flipped. He smacked her in the face, and that wasn't enough. He pushed her to the ground and kicked her in the stomach. Because Phoenix, well really Montana was just young in the womb, this kicked altered her development, and made a small change to her developing brain and heart. Phoenix had tried to keep Rufus a secret from her mother and grandmother, though she wasn't very good at it. Phoenix’s grandmother always knew what Phoenix was up to. Without even being at home when Phoenix had broken something, she knew, as if she could see the past and know the future. So when Phoenix started to feel the pains of morning sickness, she hid it as best she could, but her grandmother approached her and asked her about her body, and how long she might be along. Because of Grandma Helena’s gift to always know what was going on, Phoenix knew it was useless lying to her. She said that she thought that she was 6 weeks along, and that she wanted to tell her mother. Grandma agreed and said that she would go with her. Now Phoenix didn't know how, but it seemed that her mom could be holding things one moment, when before she wasn’t, as if she could move things with her mind. As Phoenix and grandma walked into the room, Crystal knew that something was wrong because of the look on both their faces. No one touched the door, and yet it closed behind them. As Phoenix started to tell her mother the story in greater detail than what she had told her grandmother, the window next to Crystal started to rattle and shake, and ceiling fan started to spin backwards, and before Phoenix had finished her story, the cordless phone was in front of Phoenix, in mid air as her mother said call Rufus and tell him that he had better do better then dairy boy because he is going to be a good father. Phoenix called Rufus and he was crazed! If people found out that he had a child out of wedlock, his possibilities of being Central City’s mayor are history. He wanted nothing to do with this child and hung up the phone. Crystal was to say the least upset as the phone was ripped out of Phoenix’s hand and smashed against the wall by some unseen hand. As timed passed, Phoenix was given a choice as to what she was going to do with her baby. Keep the child or put her up of adoption, and an abortion was out of the question! Rufus hit the road, to try to hide from his now colored past. Phoenix knew that she had to stay in school and graduate. She knew that she wanted to keep the baby, but she needed to talk to her grandmother first, and she knew that her mother had great power using her mind. Without thinking, Phoenix had her baby’s name picked out. Her grandmother always referred to the child as she or her, so it had to be a girl. Montana was a name that she loved and one that her mother liked to. But what would she look like? Would she have red hair like her loser dad, or long dark hair like her grandmother Crystal? Would she be short like her loser dad, or tall like her mom? Phoenix thought about all these things and more as the months passed. And when enough time had passed, she went into labor at home, because she had no insurance, and her grandmother was a certified midwife. Phoenix had gone to birthing classes, and was prepared. And what was amazing, was that during labor she was brought everything that she wanted: water, a cold towel, something to eat, everyone seemed to know exactly what she was thinking of. As Montana entered the world, squeezing through the birth canal, she had no idea that she was coming from a line of such “gifted” women.
1 comment:
Good story line, a bit fragmented but nothing a good QC couldn't fix. Gifted Family, granddaughter naieve with unknown powers, soon to be single mother. Dead beat dad forces Phoenix to live at home and develop her powers under the direction of other gifted people. Maybe Pheonix has reversal powers that saved Montana from deformation in the womb during the attack. Anything that happens can be returned to the state it was previously in. It is a power one of my anime characters have. Cool as heck.
Anyway don't know what kind of criticism/help/ideas you want for your paper
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